Successful Marriages

Successful Marriages

Research suggests that successful marriages have the following six components: appreciation and affection, commitment, positive communication, time together, spiritual well-being, and the ability to cope with stress and crisis.

Learning Patience

Patience is a virtue! Patience helps marriages. Often in our busy society we rush and rush to get things done. In marriages we often act the same way society does, we rush and rush until life is no fun [taking a line from Alabama´s song]. The best place to slow down is in marriage. This may require some patience due to the pace our society pushes us. But I recommend that we take time for talking, take time for sex, take time for an evening out, and take time to show your love. This isn´t really patience it is common sense.

Discussing what you don´t understand

If you don´t understand or like what your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it. And vice versa. Explore. Talk. Don´t assume.

Giving Your Spouse a Compliment

Brag about your spouse to others, especially when they´re in ear shot. It will boost your spouse´s ego & they will want to continue making you happy & proud of them. Also, the other people will have more respect for them since you do too.

Pains of Pornography

Pornography has become a big part of our society. More and more marriages are impacted by it. Many women have told me how pornography has impacted their marriage. In many instances, the women have been uncomfortable with their spouses use of pornography. I suggest pornography has a high likelihood of negatively impacting a marriage. I have found that many couples struggle with this issue. I have never heard a couple say that pornography has helped their marriage. Based on the negative feedback I have received, I have come to believe that marriages will be more positive if pornography can be eliminated from a marriage.

Show your love

Don´t only tell your partner that you love them, but show it every day. Love is shown through little gestures such as holding hands, kissing on the porch, complimenting your spouse in public. Such acts show your love.

Honesty and Trust in Marriage

Honesty and trust are the foundation of a good marriage. If you don´t have trust, you can´t have love. This is the one place in your life, at least, that you should always be open and honest.

Make a normal day a special holiday

Stimulate your marriage by creating a special holiday. This day can be once a month, or once a year. But make it your holiday. Celebrate your marriage on a day that isn´t unique to anyone else but you. This day shouldn´t be your anniversary either.

The Compromise

Marriage is a compromise. Be ready to compromise some of your wants for the sake of your partner`s wants.

Sending double messages

A double message is a message that has two meanings that contradict each other. For example, if you are mad at your spouse and they ask if you are mad at them and your response is in a rough voice, "NO". Your actions speak louder than your words. Double messages are hard to interpret and can hurt the marital relationship.

Being The Right Person

A wise man once said, "Marriage is not so much finding the right person as it is being the right person." If everyone would take this saying and make it a part of their life we would have better marriages and a better society.

5 Dos

Below is a list of five things to help your marriage.

A) Create time just to be with your spouse
B) Listen without criticizing
C) Ask for ideas on how you can make your marriage better
D) Be willing to do the things you want your spouse to do
E) Smile often

5 Don'ts

Below is a list of five things that can hurt your marriage.

A) Avoid resolving problems
B) Hide your emotions and true feelings from your spouse
C) Criticize your spouse
D) Lie
E) Avoid creating fun memories together

A Fun Date Idea

If you would like to have a fun date. Sit down and write 10 things that you like about your spouse. Then go out to dinner and share those ten things with each other over dinner. Then give your copy to your spouse for them to keep and read when things are not going so well.

Smiling

One of the best ways to value your partner is to show them by smiling at them and letting them know that they are of great value to you. Both men and women like it when their spouse smiles at them and tells them they love them. Further, look your spouse in the eyes and let them know they are the best.

The Greatest Gift

While most of us spend lots of money during the holidays and on our anniversaries(Christmas, Valentines Day), seldom do we consider what gift would really make a difference in our marriage. My suggestion is to give ourselves. How?

1) Show love in ways your spouse needs you to
2) Be happy
3) Give without expectation of return
4) Find ways to make your spouse feel special

Remember the greatest gift you give will always take time and will include love.

A Few NOTS That Can Tie Up Your Marriage

There are numerous habits that can hurt marriages:
A) Taking your partner for granted.

B) Not being there when they need you. Thus oh!he or she can wait, or it is not so important.

C) Not listening. Start paying attention to comments made. Listen to what the partner has to say and be compassionate.

D) Not sharing: many partners keep to themselves, they do not tell their mates what bothers them, problems at work, school and so forth.

E) Not spending time together: many partners do not do things together, they think the other may not be interested or will not participate because he/she does not care.

If patners do the above a lot will be resolved for a healthy and sustainable mariage.

Adding Some Spice to Your Married Life

Variety is the spice of life. I feel that marriages become complacent. Both parties feel that the chase is over,and once the marriage takes place,they no longer need to try as hard. Each person takes the other for granted. This happens with couples that experienced great relationships while dating. You often see couples split up,then get back together again. It´s the old you never miss the water til the well runs dry syndrome.
I think the marriage vow starts us off on the wrong foot with til death do us part. It should be that I will stay with you,as long as you keep improving,and our marriage continues to grow. No employer says that you have your job forever,as you would not be motivated to perform well. What motivates a married couple that feels that someone is stuck with them til death. Prepare for everyday as your first date, anticipate that if your lucky, you may have a sexual encounter. We always feel that the other party will be available to take care of our needs.

How can you add spice to your marriage today? I bet you know just think about it.

Marriage & Friendship

Marry your best friend. He/she knows all the ins and outs of your life and accepts you anyway. What better person to spend the rest of your life with than some one who understands you. Always look for that friendship quality in the person and then let nature take its course. I married my best friend (26) years ago, we have taken licking but we are still going strong.