I've Done All I Can

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What can I do if my spouse won´t help our marriage work?

I've Done All I Can

What can I do if I have done all I know how to in order to save my marriage, but my spouse isn't responding?

I think the best thing to do is to seek professional counseling if your spouse is willing to. If he is not, then I would have an open discussion of how you don't know what else to do to make the marriage work. I would identify the most important things that you need in the marriage and ask your partner if he can respond or not. I would also try to let him know how much you want the marriage to work, but that you cannot carry the load by yourself. Marriage takes two people. One person carrying the whole load will eventually run out of gas.



10/16/2006 9:32:05 AM
Julbo said:

Actually, you need to be very careful when seeking professional counseling. Dr. Doherty--from the University of Minn--has written how therapy is dangerous to your marriage. Visit his website for a list of questions to ask any therapist before letting them lead you in working on your marriage. www.marriagefriendlytherapists.org
Also, there are several websites you can try first. www.thethirdoption.com offers a self-help page, and www.divorcebusting.com offers telephone coaching. I can highly recommend both as trustworthy sites that put your marriage first. Hang in there and don't give up! Being the only one who wants to "fix" your marriage doesn't mean there's no hope to do so. In a survey, couples who reported that they were unhappy or very unhappy in their marriage but who stuck together, reported being very happy just 5 years later. Good luck!

2/15/2009 6:54:09 PM
Tony said:

What's with the "He" & "Him" in the answer. It's not always the man who refuses counseling.


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