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At some point in most marital relationships one or both partners question whether they made the right choice in a partner or not. In many cases the stress is high in the relationship and an individual or both partners begin to feel that the best option is to end their relationship and get a divorce (what I have termed marital suicide). In far too many cases these couples haven't been married very long and they are dealing with the initial pains and trials of marriage. Unfortunately, what these couples do not realize is that their relationship pains will NOT go away by getting a divorce. They will surface in a new relationship. Consequently, if a couple can survive the initial pains and trials in their marriage they can find the happiness and success they long for. Below are some suggestions to help you survive the initial pains.
a) Listen to each other. Seriously try understanding your partner's pains and trials.
b) Take responsibility and stop doing the things you do that bothers or hurts your spouse.
c) Be kind and show empathy toward your spouse. If they don't reciprocate show more love.
d) Don't criticize your spouse. Criticism will ruin a marriage. Recognize that your spouse won't be perfect.
e) Find ways to serve your spouse even if you don't want to. In serving your spouse you might rekindle some of the feelings you felt for each other while you were dating or earlier in your marriage.
f) Search within yourself and remember the deep feelings of love you once had for your spouse.
Good luck! Marital suicide can be prevented.
Guru Spotlight |
Ray Lokar |