The Process of Overcoming Affairs

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How can I create change after my spouse has had an affair?

The Process of Overcoming Affairs

The Process of Overcoming Affairs
by Peggy Vaughan

1. Accept the fact that it happened. This doesn't mean "liking" it; it just means giving up focusing on " if only" and dealing with "what is."

2. Work to understand what happened in terms of the societal factors that contributed to it in order to overcome the idea that it's ONLY due to personal failure.

3. Talk about what happened--not just for the sake of talking, but in order to move the process along--since hiding it reinforces the feelings of shame.

4. Deliberately focus on dealing with it.

5. Believe it's possible to recover.

6. Allow time to heal. Time alone won't bring recovery, but it does require time and patience to work through this experience.

   

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