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When people misbehave many of us focus on the misbehavior. However, I believe we would be more productive if we dealt with the beliefs that lead to the misbehavior. Our beliefs are powerful as they are the authorizers of our actions or behaviors. Below are a few beliefs that can help and hurt your relationships.
a) I should always treat my spouse with respect.
b) I should be faithful to my spouse no matter what.
c) I should be kind and considerate of my spouse.
d) I should expect to be treated with respect and my spouse should expect that I treat him/her good.
e) Marriage is a commitment that should last a lifetime and I will do everything I can to make it work.
a) My spouse should do anything I want him/her to do.
b) If my spouse really loved me, he/she wouldn't disagree with me.
c) If we fight too much we can always get a divorce.
d) As long as I am not hurting myself, my spouse shouldn't care what I do.
e) I should be able to criticize my spouse.
These are just a few of the helpful and hurtful beliefs that some individuals have. I would invite you to analyze your beliefs and see how they are impacting your marriage.