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Too many times I hear people say, if I could just get him/her to do this. Or our problems will go away if we can just get through this time. Through my experience as a therapist, I have come to believe that most people continue to have problems. So the biggest issue is how we solve the problems we have today. Therefore, I suggest that if we want to make our marriage work OR if we want to resolve other problems, we should make sure that we consider how OUR actions will impact our spouse and our family. In most cases it is important to include our spouse in any major decisions.