October 31, 2003, Newsletter Issue #108: Where Relationships Go Wrong
Tip of the Week
Most people will tell you that relationships (marriages) end because of sex or money problems. I am convinced that neither of these are at the core of relationship problems. The real issue is how two people solve problems. If one person attempts to ignore the problem, you are going to have issues. If the other person is too aggressive and assertive, you are going to have problems. If you want your marriage to last, you have to learn how to solve problems without offending your spouse. This requires that you take time to understand each other. You cannot develop a healthy relationship unless you understand your partner. Can you see the problem from your partner`s perspective? Or are you so caught up in being heard and feeling that your partner doesn`t understand you, that you ignore how they are feeling and what they are thinking? Finally, once you understand the problem and your spouse`s perspective, share your thoughts on how you can solve the problem. If you value your spouse and focus on solving the problem you will have a better chance of resolving differences in your relationship.
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