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Overcoming an affair is not easy, it takes time and real effort from both spouses. After an affair the person who cheated should give their spouse time to heal from the wound. In many cases I have heard one spouse say, "just get over it I am not going to do it again." Such a statement is controlling and is not compassionate. It takes time to heal from the past and only actions over time will tell whether the person who had the affair is really committed to the relationship. Time will tell.