Helping Children Adjust to Divorce

Parents can help their children in the process of adjusting to divorce, if they follow the guidelines below. These guidelines are based upon advice from experts on family relations: 1) all the children should be told at the same time about the divorce 2) children should be told only as much as they need to know 3) children need to know that they have not caused the divorce 4) parents must emphasize the finality of their decision 5) arrangements for the children´s care should be carefully explained 6) children should be reassured of both parents´ continuing love 7) children should be encouraged to express fear, sadness, and anger 8) limits should be set on children´s behavior 9) parents should enlist the help of other adults 10) battling parents should declare a truce when they are with the children 11) children should not be used as weapons 12) parents must recognize the conflict between their needs and their children´s needs 13) children´s lives should be changed as little as possible 14) parents should use whatever resources they can find for themselves and their children