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Q: Can some friction help a marriage?
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Friction in Marriage
Remember the saying, a gem cannot be polished without friction. Arguments can be the refining of a marriage. However, pay attention to the words you use during a fight with your mate. Eliminate those that don´t say anything, such as "You´re driving me up a wall," and re-phrase others. For instance, "You´re breaking my back" could be changed to, "That really hurts me, and here´s why."
We Never Disagree!
Have you ever wondered about people who say that they never disagree. Do you think they are normal? NOT! We are going to have our disagreements. However, couples who make it through disagreements are the ones that learn that you can learn to agree to disagree. They also learn that personal attacks or criticism of character are daggers to a marriage.
Getting to the Real Problem
During disagreements we sometimes feel like we are being attacked by our partner. When this occurs we often stop listening and prepare in our minds what we want to say back. When the discussion turns into a "you hurt me, I´ll hurt you back" match we forget what the real problem is. Successful couples focus on the problem at hand and try solving it rather than hurting each other with words or actions.
Q.
My birth date is February 18th 1974, 22:00. In the last year I have made relationships that can only be described as a "complete disaster!" Is there any possibility that I may find love/good relationship anytime soon??
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My fiance and I are getting married July 4. I am in the Marines stationed in Iwakuni, Japan. I still have a problem with telling my parents everything that my fiance and I talk about. I believe this originates from me being real close to my parents. This obviously really hurts her, because she feels she cant trust me. Is there anything I can do practice not telling my parents every little thing her and I talk about, or much less do. Thank you, John
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Worried about losing my marraige. We have had 5 domestic violence arrests in 6 months. A judge issued a no contact order. We really want to work this out through counsling, and stay together.His family now hates me and mine dislikes him. Everyone advises us to let go but we love each other. How.what can we do? The no contact is killing us.
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