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Q: What are some of the signs to look for in abusive relationships?
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Signs of Verbal Abuse
The following phrases are responses from victims of verbal abuse which clearly define their experiences with this type of abuse.
yelled at called names nagged at called racial slurs called stupid told no one else would want me talked to as a child constant put-downs ridiculed appearance threatened to kill me threatened to take the children belittled important things I accomplished told me I was stupid, ugly, dumb said I was an unfit mother embarassed me in public told the children I was disgusting said I was a bad sex partner always screams at the children
This checklist can be found at actabuse.com
What is Emotional Abuse?
There are various types of emotional abuse. Below is a list of characteristics that are emotionally abuse.
Rejecting
·Telling a person that they are unwanted ·Telling a person to leave ·Name-calling ·Telling the person they are worthless ·Making the person the scapegoat, blaming them for everything
Ignoring
·Does not show attachment ·Does not provide nurturance ·Does not show or express affection ·Physically there, but emotionally unavailable ·Does not recognize the other persons presence ·Uses the “silent treatment”
Terrorizing
·Singling out a person to criticize and punish ·Ridiculing him or her for displaying normal emotions ·Having expectations far beyond his or her normal abilities ·Threatening person with death, mutilation and abandonment
Isolation
·Not allowing person to interact with other ·Restricting person to a room ·Restricting eating to isolation or seclusion ·Restrict/monitoring phone calls
Corrupting
·Allowing minors to use drugs or alcohol ·Forcing others to watch pornographic material or sex acts ·Forcing someone to participate in or witness criminal activities ·Forcing someone to witness cruelty to animals
When Good Enough Isn´t Good Enough
Sometimes in marriage we work and work and believe that if we work hard enough our spouse will start treating us better. Often they will tell us that if we just did this or that they would love us more. Once we meet their request they change their request or add to it. It seems like nothing is good enough. Such situations may make you think that you just aren´t a good spouse. The reality is that you are doing your best. It is your spouses issue when they cannot be satisfied with what you do. Do your best, but watch out for the never ending expectation hole that some spouses create in relationships.
Economic Abuse: What is It?
Economic abuse is often overlooked in the midst of other types of abuse. However, it is real and exists in families. Below are some things you can look for in economically abusive relationships.
1) Refuses to buy necessities (i.e. clothing, food, bedding) 2) Hoards or refuses to share money or other assets 3) Controls all bank accounts 4) Restricts your budget 5) Reviews how your money is spent 6) Steals from your account 7) Manipulates you to give you them access to your accounts 8) Controls your access to transportation 9) Doesn't allow credit card access 10)Puts all accounts in their name and limits your access to the account 11)Puts bills in your name and doesn't pay them 12)Refuses to give you personal or discretionary money 13)Confiscates monetary gifts
Q.
My birth date is February 18th 1974, 22:00. In the last year I have made relationships that can only be described as a "complete disaster!" Is there any possibility that I may find love/good relationship anytime soon??
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My fiance and I are getting married July 4. I am in the Marines stationed in Iwakuni, Japan. I still have a problem with telling my parents everything that my fiance and I talk about. I believe this originates from me being real close to my parents. This obviously really hurts her, because she feels she cant trust me. Is there anything I can do practice not telling my parents every little thing her and I talk about, or much less do. Thank you, John
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Q.
Worried about losing my marraige. We have had 5 domestic violence arrests in 6 months. A judge issued a no contact order. We really want to work this out through counsling, and stay together.His family now hates me and mine dislikes him. Everyone advises us to let go but we love each other. How.what can we do? The no contact is killing us.
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