Successful Marriages

Successful Marriages

Research suggests that successful marriages have the following six components: appreciation and affection, commitment, positive communication, time together, spiritual well-being, and the ability to cope with stress and crisis.

Marital Strengths

What are the strengths in your marriage? For a fun activity, consider listing them and discussing them with your spouse.

Show your love

Don´t only tell your partner that you love them, but show it every day. Love is shown through little gestures such as holding hands, kissing on the porch, complimenting your spouse in public. Such acts show your love.

Time Together

Successful couples find time for each other. Many couples plan a night out together to build their relationship. This takes effort, but the rewards are worth it. You don´t even have to spend money on your one night a week excursion. A walk in the park or a trip to look at the stars can do wonders for a relationship.

How To Raise Or Lower Your Partners Self-Esteem

In any couple, almost everything one person says or does either raises or lowers the self-esteem of the other. Any attack or perceived rejection or indifference on the part of one person in a couple will lower the other person´s self-esteem.

Myth #7: If You Argue You Have A Poor Marriage.

Conflict is inevitable in a relationship. If conflict is used creatively, it can be a catalyst for growth in marriage. Couples and family members need to learn to communicate openly and to negotiate in good faith with each other, recognizing that each person is unique and that conflict is necessary and can help facilitate positive change.

Day to Day Living

In the day to day living in marriage, we are often least polite to the ones who need and deserve it most. Thank each other for the things you do, praise each other and never forget to say I´m sorry. These may sound like trivial things, but lack of them has broken many a marriage.

Arguments

When having an argument with your spouse, try not to win, but to compromise. If you both can come away from the disagreement with something, it stops the power struggling so common in marriages.

Money Ideas for Marriage

Keep track of spending on small as well as big-ticket items. Also it is a good idea to always keep some petty cash around for special time for the two of you, even if it´s just a night of pizza and a movie.

Myth #1 People Marry Because They Love Each Other

Many people think they are in love when what they feel is really a strong sex drive, the fear of being alone, or a need for approval from others. It is this romantic “love” that fades with time in many marriages.

The Problem of Mind Reading

When couples try to read the mind of their partner they generally guess wrong. This is especially true in couples who argue a lot. The individual who tries reading the mind of their partner often assume they know what their partner is feeling and thinking. These assumptions are often in error and create more problems. Individuals who expect their spouse to read their mind are asking for trouble and playing an unfair game.

Marriage As A Legal Contract

Marriage is a legal contract. Marriage creates formal and legal obligations and rights between spouses. Public recognition of, and protection for, this marriage contract, whether in tax or divorce law, helps married couples succeed in creating a permanent bond.

Are There Bad Reasons For Marrying?

There are some bad reasons for marrying. Below is a short list of those reasons. Marriages that start this way have more difficulties. These couples can survive, but they may have more challenges.
1) premarital pregnancy
2) rebellion against parents
3) seeking independence
4) rebounding from another relationship
5) family or social pressure
6) economic security

Good Reasons To Marry

There are some good and bad reasons for marrying. Marriages based on good reasons are often the most satisfying. Good reasons to marry include:
1) sharing your life with someone else.
2) sharing love and intimacy
3) finding support in your partnership
4) having a good sexual relationship
5) sharing parenthood

Take Nothing For Granted

Never take your relationship for granted. The only way to ensure that your partner will be with you forever is to live each day as if it was your first day together.

Ideas for Dealing With Extended Family

Many couples have problems with their in-laws or maybe I should say out-laws. Extended family has created many problems in marriages throughout time. My recommendation is to create boundaries between you as a couple and your families. This isn´t easy as some extended families really push to keep in control of their children´s life. Nevertheless, couples should plan a strategy for maintaining their relationship and keeping it strong if extended families are hurting the marriage. This doesn´t have to be a ending of contact, but it may need to be an open discussion with extended family about what type of influence they can be in your lives.

We Never Disagree!

Have you ever wondered about people who say that they never disagree. Do you think they are normal? NOT! We are going to have our disagreements. However, couples who make it through disagreements are the ones that learn that you can learn to agree to disagree. They also learn that personal attacks or criticism of character are daggers to a marriage.

Time Outs

When a heated discussion is going nowhere, call for a time-out. Even boxing matches have rounds. Set an alarm to let you know when an hour is up, and during that time go for a run, bake a cake, watch TV. Just calm down and get your mind off of it, until the hour is up, and the two of you can resume.

When is a Good Time to Start Having Children?

Having a child is a big committment and should be taken seriously. There are a few good guidelines that I recommend to people.

1st) Do both spouses want to have a child now?
2nd) Are you ready for the responsibility of being a parent?
3rd) Do you feel comfortable with your spouse? In having a child you are inviting a child into your home. Every child deserves a loving home.
4th) Are you ready to give up some of your personal time?
5th) Do you have any unresolved fears?
6th) Are you financially capable of taking care of a child?
7th) Can you give the child the love that it deserves?
8th) Do you feel good about having a child?

If couples can answer these questions with a yes, having a child is a good idea.