The Process of Overcoming Affairs
by Peggy Vaughan

1. Accept the fact that it happened. This doesn´t mean "liking" it; it just means giving up focusing on " if only" and dealing with "what is."

2. Work to understand what happened in terms of the societal factors that contributed to it in order to overcome the idea that it´s ONLY due to personal failure.

3. Talk about what happened--not just for the sake of talking, but in order to move the process along--since hiding it reinforces the feelings of shame.

4. Deliberately focus on dealing with it.

5. Believe it´s possible to recover.

6. Allow time to heal. Time alone won´t bring recovery, but it does require time and patience to work through this experience.

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