Married love tends to be more utilitarian than the romantic love couples experience when dating. William Lederer and Don Jackson suggest that “spouses who have been married for more than three or four years rarely state spontaneously to an interviewer that they are in love with one another.” Instead of talking about feelings of love, these more experienced couples are more likely to talk about love in action: “He is honest, hard-working, and enjoys spending lots of time with the kids.” “She is well-respected in her work, and I can always count on her in a crisis.”

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