March 2, 2007, Newsletter Issue #163: Developing Intimacy After an Abusive Marriage

Tip of the Week

Some people face the tremendous trials when their spouse becomes violent and abusive. However, people who have been abused can recover and develop intimate relationships. Recently, I obtained permission to share this story with you, "My ex showered me with flowers while we dating. He was charming,and funny...and then when we got married, it was horrible, he ignored me, followed every compliment with an insult ´you´re beautiful, but you´d be prettier if you lost weight´ then he began beating and raping and controlling me almost daily for almost 3 years...I left finally....and later I met my current husband, our eyes met. I asked silently, ´please love me´ and in silence I got a response of ´I already do´, he had hell with me because of my ex, I didn´t ever want to have sex and cried when we did, I flinched every time he made a gesture...but then I started to trust him, 3 years later, he is my best friend, the communication between us is open and wonderful, forever doesn´t quite seem long enough to be with this man...every day gets better, we support each other´s choices, and dreams, we constantly grow together, our marriage is romantic and happy, and I know we´ll live happily ever after or at least as long as destiny and God allows".

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